She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
