just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
