To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
