I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
