he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
