I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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