Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they're like a gay fantastic four
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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