i just wanna soil my oats bro
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
this hospital has no fireball
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
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