I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
40s are totally the cure
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
