i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
