Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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