He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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