Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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