Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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