Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
