idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
