well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I did not marry a roomba.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
