there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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