**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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