He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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