But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
