This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
ok first of all what the fuck
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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