she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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