think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
