I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
