Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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