Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
