The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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