I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My vagina just recognized that song.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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