Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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