Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
