you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
