Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
