We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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