she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
