i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
