just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
