Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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