Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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