I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
