his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
