I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
