sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
