Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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