not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
