We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
