May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
