I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Randomize
