my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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