we have pet lesbian snakes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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