So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
