I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
