im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
