I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
